Well, just missed a few weeks there, not like anything huge has happened, this shouldn't take too long...
Crap. Ok, off to the races here. This is going to be just a general catch-up, and full disclosure-- we didn't really discuss most of these so much as I remember seeing them.
Well, he's dead-- Osama Bin Laden was
found and immediately killed in his frankly gaudy and huge compound in Abbottobad, Pakistan, home of a Pakistan military garrison, with no help from the Pakistan military. So now there's a number of competitors for the title of minor asshat: the Pakistan military,
because, what, the conspiracy theorists claiming
he's not really dead and this is all just one of Dark Wizard Obama's many tricks (sorry,
illusions), Our Friend Sarah Palin who's claiming that the pictures of Bin Laden's destroyed body
should be released into the wild because that's such an awesome idea on so many levels, and a whole bunch of douchenozzles claiming that we finally won because we made the great decision to torture a whole bunch of people. And it's a little gross to see the disregard for human life all over the media and in the general public, with endless jokes that aren't even really funny, pointing out "we shot him! we shot him in the head! with blood and stuff!" over and over again.
But there's nothing that's really going to stand up to the guy himself, here. Even though it's troubling to see the disrespect being thrown around, being old enough to have been in on the conversation in 2001 means remembering when the whole country was
too damn scared and angry to be troubled about anything. And when I think of the changes in my country since that day, the ratcheting up of fear, racism, hatred, blind trust of the government, complete loss of any moral center-- sure, America was far from perfect before Sept. 11, 2001. But a whole lot of what's made everyone miserable lately was born or nurtured in the maelstrom of panic and grief brought on by this asshat.
That's right, even in the absence of people backing me up, I'm going to go ahead and call Osama Bin Laden a bad name.
I'm that sure about this one.
I'm going to be so happy when I don't have to look at this jerk's face anymore.
The Arab Spring is moving ominously towards Arab Summer, which doesn't sound nearly as nice. Gaddafi is still in power, and still being just as bad as he can possibly be. NATO is still engaged in attempting to maintain a ceasefire, but the situation is complicated on the ground, the rebels have an uphill fight, and
bad things have happened in the past because we lent military aid to freedom fighters, so what can we even cheer for here? Things are at a stalemate, which is somehow even less fun and satisfying in real life than it is in chess. However, Gaddafi remains an asshat.
In short, we live in a world crying out for some asskickers.
Syria's protesters are remaining largely nonviolent, as protests against the Assad dynasty stretch on. As the protesters' demands have grown, the military has become more and more engaged, working live ammunition into the crowds as they march out of morning prayers. And as they've grown more violent, the Assad family has been working harder and harder to silence their country, which has for a long time had a "fear barrier" preventing any negative talk about the ruling family. So an asskicker award for those human rights organizations and expatriates who are
working to maintain the flow of information across Syrian borders, trying to prevent truth from becoming a casualty of war.
John McCain has shown flashes of his old self lately, which is welcome.
His editorial in the Washington Post laid out his argument against torture, regardless of whether it works, but especially because it doesn't, at a time when lots of people were and still are spouting crap about Guantanamo being the reason we got Bin Laden. He also lays out that for the record, waterboarded prisoners gave false and misleading information, while the actual tip on Bin Laden's courier came from a prisoner who was not tortured. His opponents on this include actual politicians like Michael Mukasey and Rick Santorum, continuing a career of great press moves by telling John McCain he doesn't understand torture, so it's not a non-issue. And it's certainly one where he'd be more popular with his own party if he'd just shut up. Good to see you again, John McCain, gosh, how long has it been?
So, not to glorify violence or anything, but yeah, Obama And Company. Navy SEAL Team Six did the deed, but Bin Laden's death came after some tough decision making, a long-term intelligence-based campaign that focused on, you know, actually going after Al-Qaeda rather than a handy nearby country that is way easier to attack and happens to also have a lot of natural resources and maybe they have bombs, you never know. But also, some credit goes to Obama for weathering the inane and ridiculous attacks of freaking Donald Trump and Sarah Palin, releasing his Hawaiian birth certificate -- yes I know, you're thinking, "didn't he do that during the election?" and the answer is yes, but Trump wanted the
long-form version, which is actually
less valid, and
holy crap THIS GUY. But we don't have to spend any time making fun of Donald Trump, because Obama also kind of ripped him to shreds during the White House Press Correspondents' Dinner. I mean, not Tina Fey-level satire, but one guy is the President and the other guy was in the audience, so this is pretty hefty taunting. And this was after he'd given the order to start the raid on Bin Laden's compound, having been given 55/45 odds of success. (Fun fact:
way better odds than finding a person polled who believes Obama was definitely born in the U.S., even after the long-form thing came out!)
And then afterwards, he interrupted Trump's Celebrity Apprentice to tell everyone Bin Laden was dead. Look, posterity, I know this isn't an unsullied presidency and there are serious issues with the status quo. But holy crap, posterity, you have to admit that was kind of kickass.
Oh, and Prince William of the United Kingdom married Kate Middleton, who everyone in the world now knows an unhealthy amount of crap about. And while it'd probably go against the populist leanings of the sacred Asskicker title to start handing it out to royalty, I'm going to just close out by sending honors in the direction of
Paul Mealor, who wrote this absolutely kickass arrangement of Ubi Caritas for the wedding, and the choir that performed it.
Yes, you can certainly tell I was the one putting the list together this time (if I had my way, everything would end with a choral piece!). Think of this as a reminder of just how diverse the views are at the Table at its best, and take it with the grain of salt that I haven't really been able to pay that much attention to the news, so I'm probably missing lots of important stories and perspectives here. Critical thinking! Do it. Probably updates will be scattershot over the summer, and I hope we can pick up group updates again as time goes on.
